The Lord is a Gardener

The Parable of the Sower has been on my mind a lot lately. It can be found in Mark 4:1-20, and Luke 8:4-15. The passage from Mark is below.

The Parable of the Sower

4 Again Jesus began to teach by the lake. The crowd that gathered around him was so large that he got into a boat and sat in it out on the lake, while all the people were along the shore at the water’s edge. 2 He taught them many things by parables, and in his teaching said: 3 “Listen! A farmer went out to sow his seed. 4 As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. 5 Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. 6 But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. 7 Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants, so that they did not bear grain. 8 Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up, grew and produced a crop, multiplying thirty, sixty, or even a hundred times.”

9 Then Jesus said, “He who has ears to hear, let him hear.”

10 When he was alone, the Twelve and the others around him asked him about the parables. 11 He told them, “The secret of the kingdom of God has been given to you. But to those on the outside everything is said in parables 12 so that,

“ ‘they may be ever seeing but never perceiving, and ever hearing but never understanding; otherwise they might turn and be forgiven!’”

13 Then Jesus said to them, “Don’t you understand this parable? How then will you understand any parable? 14 The farmer sows the word. 15 Some people are like seed along the path, where the word is sown. As soon as they hear it, Satan comes and takes away the word that was sown in them. 16 Others, like seed sown on rocky places, hear the word and at once receive it with joy. 17 But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away. 18 Still others, like seed sown among thorns, hear the word; 19 but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful. 20 Others, like seed sown on good soil, hear the word, accept it, and produce a crop—thirty, sixty or even a hundred times what was sown.”

Anyone who has ever attended a Sunday school class has heard the explanation of the parable

Four kinds of people are represented by the four soils. All four kinds receive the same news. The first group consists of those who hear but do not believe at all, because of the work of the devil (v. 12).

The second group are those who listen and rejoice but then do not stick with the truth of the message for they have no root (v. 13). The fact that they believe for a while but … fall away means that they only accept the facts of the Word mentally and then reject it when “the going gets rough.” It does not mean they lose their salvation, for they had none to lose.
 
The third group are those who listen but never come to maturity (v. 14). These may be those who are interested in Jesus’ message but who cannot accept it because of their devotion to material things—life’s worries, riches, and pleasures.

The fourth group consists of those who listen, retain the Word, and … produce a crop (v. 15), that is, they bear spiritual fruit, evidence of their spiritual life. Their hearts were changed for they were noble and good.
 
As Christians we all want to be the good seed mentioned by Jesus. This is a common message preached on many Sundays around the word. However, God has been using the parable to speak to a different part of my life. Let me explain.

In front of my house I have a flower garden.

Yes it’s true, I am an engineer, but I have lilies, daisies, a hosta, Rose of Sharon, and orange, yellow, and blue flowers of names I can’t recall. With the flowers also come weeds, lots and lots of weeds. I could spend every weekend pulling weeds. I don’t do this often enough though and some of the weeds grow really, really big. The phrase “growing like a weed” is definitely true at my place.

Where am I going with this analogy? As I said earlier as Christians we want to be, strive to be, the good soil described in the parable. However, our lives often resemble seed among thorn when the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful. In my life, the “cares of the world” work, commitments, work, hobbies, work, can choke my ability to be good seed. I get so wrapped up in “stuff” that bearing spiritual fruit becomes difficult.

But here’s where the gardening analogy comes in. Weeds are easily pulled. In my flower garden the weeds have shallow roots, a little tugging removes the offending weed, even the large ones, allowing the flowers room to grow and bloom. The flowers also receive all the nutrients of the soil with the weeds gone! Bonus!

I’m working on turning my weeding over to God. Allow God in to pull your weeds. Turn the garden over to him, let him remove the weeds in your life, and you will bloom in the good soil and you will be beautiful.

They Call Me Uncle

Last month I went to a graduation party for my friend’s 2nd oldest child. Yes, my friends Brian and Danielle are 7 months younger than I am, and now they have two high school graduates, with 4 more to go. Hey, you can make disciples or you can make disciples (Right Bill Enslow). Their kids call me Uncle Brian, even though I am not technically their uncle. I like it though. I often wonder what, if any, impact I am having in/on their lives.

Also, Friday (August 7th) was the final day of Vacation Bible School where I got to interact with approximately 100 children for an entire week. It’s a week of therapy for me, and as the daily photographer I thoroughly enjoy it. They call me Mr. Brian or the photographer guy and usually want their picture taken. I even colored my hair blue and orange on different days, but I digress.

If you’ve read the blog before, you know that I am single. God has not yet blessed me with a wife and family. (I spent 20 minutes on that sentence debating on the inclusion of “yet” I could hear Keith Otto’s voice telling me how the meaning of the sentence changed on that one word). I say yet because I’ve prayed for years that if it is his will for me to be single, then take the desire for a wife and family away. However, through much prayer, faith and wrestling with God, see Genesis 32:22-31, that is still a desire of my heart.

However, in these times when I am Uncle Brian or when I am interacting in children’s lives at church in VBS or the Christmas pageant I wonder am I making a difference in the lives of the kids I know? Am I being a good role model, do I model a Christian man to the boys, what sort of legacy am I leaving? Twenty years down the road will it matter? I am neither a teacher nor am I a parent. However, I know I have influence and I hope it is for good.

Proverbs 22:6 says “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.”

Proverbs 17:6 says "Children’s children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children."
I am just dust and spit but I hope and pray the legacy I am leaving with the kids is filled with memories of love. I may never know the impact I have on the kids at church or my friend’s kids but that is ok, for now they call me Uncle Brian, or Mr. Brian, and I like that.

Marriage Perspective Part II

As I wrote in my first essay on marriage, I wrote a second essay after the first, instead of combining them, I left them separate.  This is Part II. Part one can be found here.

I was thinking about marriage again, and wondering what makes a good marriage.  Obviously love and commitment are important.  Actually, the thought just occurred to me that all the fruits of the spirit mentioned in Galatians 5:22-23 are present in great marriages. 

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control.”  

However, life isn’t abstract so I don’t want to look at marriage as an abstract ideal. I want to look more at the husband and wife in the marriage.  First a disclaimer, I am no expert on this subject.  I am an engineer, not a marriage expert, and I have no practical marriage experience since I'm a bachelor, so take everything I say with a grain of salt.  Since I hope to get married one day, I have spent time observing the marriages of Christian friends and family.  Relax, I have not made any notes, or installed any surveillance equipment, I have only filed things away for future reference.  It’s part of my engineer make-up, what can I say.

As a guy, we like to think of ourselves as “the man.”  We all have different ideas on what being “the man” actually entails. In general, “the man” is the provider.  We provide for the well-being of our family, food, clothing, and shelter.  We derive a lot of self worth from how effective we are at providing for our family. God has some pretty clear direction on how we are to treat our wives in Ephesians 5:25-31

 “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church- for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."

The husbands in the marriages I have observed are living out these verses. They are no longer interested in their vain pursuits.  (I have been reading a lot of Ecclesiastes lately, so vanity and vain pursuits have been on my mind a lot) They are devoted to their wives, their best friend, and helping her achieve her hopes and dreams.  They realize the truth of Proverbs 18:22 “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.”  One day I hope to as mature as these Godly men I know.

In my prior essay on marriage I stated, “Ladies, I’m not even going to try to give advice here since I don’t pretend to understand women.”  Well, I still don’t understand women but this time I am going to offer my opinion.  Also, I haven’t really studied women.  I realized all that would get me was a headache, and maybe a black eye, or whacked upside the head. What I have noticed is the effect a wife has on a marriage. 

I have learned some very interesting things along the way. Did you know, the first three times the phase “noble character” is used in scripture; it is used to describe women.  (Ruth 3:11, Proverbs 12:4, and 31:10)  There is a phrase in used in education that says “Character counts.” This is very true in marriage.

Proverbs 31:10-31

10. A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
11. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
12. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
13. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.
14. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.
15. She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.
16. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.
18. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.
19. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.
21. When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22. She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23. Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25. She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
26. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
29. “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”
30. Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

The verses that stick out to me are 10-12, and 28. Godly women truly are to be honored.  Verse 11 says “Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.” And verse 28 follows that up with “Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:” It has been my observation that even though the husband is the head in marriage, his wife is his earthly anchor. As they say, behind every good man is a great woman.  The impact that a godly wife can have on marriage is astounding.  As an aside to husbands, these verses serve as reminder to affirm your wives. 

The women I have observed in Godly marriages are living out Proverbs 31:10-31.  They are devoted to their husbands and family and enjoy a vibrant personal relationship with God. 

Together these godly men and women are examples of great marriages to all of us single people still searching for a lifelong relationship. 

Marriage Perspective Part 1

I realized after posting the blog on Love,Love Blog I realized my essays on marriage hadn't been posted. I thought I posted them before I posted the blog on ISHSHAH but a check of my blogs revealed I did not.  I posted Ishshah in honor of my friends Billy and Emily's engagement (Yes, I knew ahead of time) so I am giving myself a pass for posting these out of order. According to my notes I originally wrote this in 2006 and updated it 2010. I'm a few years older now, but I am leaving the references as I originally wrote them. The Savvy reader will note this is part 1. I'll post part 2 later in the week or next week.

What perspective can a 33-year old bachelor offer on marriage?  Only this, in my opinion the marriage covenant is the most important covenant two people can make with each other.  Even though I am relatively young, I like to think I have learned some things along the way.  The opportunity to marry your best friend and spend a lifetime growing old together is not an experience that everyone gets to experience.

I come home to a quiet, somewhat messy, house every night, and I am sure many of you with children, especially young children, would love that opportunity occasionally, except for the mess. But I’ll tell you the truth; I would rather come home to a noisy house, knowing I’d find my best friend there.  To have a lifetime companion to share all my hopes, dreams, trials, and fears is worth more to me than all the riches of the world. To help, in my case, her to achieve her hopes and dreams would be an honor.

Please take time to nurture and grow your marriage. Most of us, myself included, are too busy.  Take the time to just talk again. Start a date night.  Guys, give her flowers just because, not because you screwed up, write a poem, who cares if it is bad, only you and your wife will see it. 

Dance with your wife in your living room. Some recommendations are: “Say Once More” and “If These Walls Could Speak” by Amy Grant, “If You Could See What I See” by Geoff Moore & the Distance, “This Love will Carry,” by Dougie MacLean, and hopefully, my future wedding song, “I Will be Here” by Steven Curtis Chapman.

Ladies, I’m not even going to try to give advice here since I don’t pretend to understand women.

Now I realize marriage is no picnic, and being on the outside looking in, I may have a romantic ideal of marriage.  But, I do know that marriage is a blessing from God, and He has a plan for yours. 

“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.” – Proverbs 18:22

So once again I say please take time to nurture and grow your marriage, and keeping with my gardening theme, water your marriage with love.

“A friend loves at all times,” – Proverbs 17:17

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” – 1 Corinthians13:4-7.

However, I was reminded by a friend to not think of love, or marriage, as a noun, thing, or place. Think of it as a verb, as something alive, full of action.

Clint Black, a country singer, wrote a song that describes love that way and it really makes me think. Here’s the last line. Notice the emphasis on the word we.

“There’s no request to big or small, we give ourselves, we give our all, love isn’t someplace that we fall, it’s something that we do”. – Title, Something That We Do, from the album Nothin' But The Taillights. 

Warren Barfield has a great song titled Love is Not a Fight. The opening verse says a lot

"Love is not a place to come and go as we please. It's a house we enter in then commit to never leave.

So lock the door behind you. Throw away the key. Work it out together. Let it bring us to our knees."

We also want to avoid the following, from the story of Samson and Delilah, “With such nagging she prodded him day after day until he was tired to death.” - Judges 16:16

Ok, just kidding, that verse was offered in jest.  As Forrest Gump says, and that’s all I have to say about that.