Marriage Perspective Part 1

I realized after posting the blog on Love,Love Blog I realized my essays on marriage hadn't been posted. I thought I posted them before I posted the blog on ISHSHAH but a check of my blogs revealed I did not.  I posted Ishshah in honor of my friends Billy and Emily's engagement (Yes, I knew ahead of time) so I am giving myself a pass for posting these out of order. According to my notes I originally wrote this in 2006 and updated it 2010. I'm a few years older now, but I am leaving the references as I originally wrote them. The Savvy reader will note this is part 1. I'll post part 2 later in the week or next week.

What perspective can a 33-year old bachelor offer on marriage?  Only this, in my opinion the marriage covenant is the most important covenant two people can make with each other.  Even though I am relatively young, I like to think I have learned some things along the way.  The opportunity to marry your best friend and spend a lifetime growing old together is not an experience that everyone gets to experience.

I come home to a quiet, somewhat messy, house every night, and I am sure many of you with children, especially young children, would love that opportunity occasionally, except for the mess. But I’ll tell you the truth; I would rather come home to a noisy house, knowing I’d find my best friend there.  To have a lifetime companion to share all my hopes, dreams, trials, and fears is worth more to me than all the riches of the world. To help, in my case, her to achieve her hopes and dreams would be an honor.

Please take time to nurture and grow your marriage. Most of us, myself included, are too busy.  Take the time to just talk again. Start a date night.  Guys, give her flowers just because, not because you screwed up, write a poem, who cares if it is bad, only you and your wife will see it. 

Dance with your wife in your living room. Some recommendations are: “Say Once More” and “If These Walls Could Speak” by Amy Grant, “If You Could See What I See” by Geoff Moore & the Distance, “This Love will Carry,” by Dougie MacLean, and hopefully, my future wedding song, “I Will be Here” by Steven Curtis Chapman.

Ladies, I’m not even going to try to give advice here since I don’t pretend to understand women.

Now I realize marriage is no picnic, and being on the outside looking in, I may have a romantic ideal of marriage.  But, I do know that marriage is a blessing from God, and He has a plan for yours. 

“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.” – Proverbs 18:22

So once again I say please take time to nurture and grow your marriage, and keeping with my gardening theme, water your marriage with love.

“A friend loves at all times,” – Proverbs 17:17

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” – 1 Corinthians13:4-7.

However, I was reminded by a friend to not think of love, or marriage, as a noun, thing, or place. Think of it as a verb, as something alive, full of action.

Clint Black, a country singer, wrote a song that describes love that way and it really makes me think. Here’s the last line. Notice the emphasis on the word we.

“There’s no request to big or small, we give ourselves, we give our all, love isn’t someplace that we fall, it’s something that we do”. – Title, Something That We Do, from the album Nothin' But The Taillights. 

Warren Barfield has a great song titled Love is Not a Fight. The opening verse says a lot

"Love is not a place to come and go as we please. It's a house we enter in then commit to never leave.

So lock the door behind you. Throw away the key. Work it out together. Let it bring us to our knees."

We also want to avoid the following, from the story of Samson and Delilah, “With such nagging she prodded him day after day until he was tired to death.” - Judges 16:16

Ok, just kidding, that verse was offered in jest.  As Forrest Gump says, and that’s all I have to say about that.