Ishshah

It's almost Valentines Day and I am not a fan. It's not because I am currently single either.  Don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with men treating their wife, girlfriend, or fiancee to special gifts, outings, and honor. My issue with the day is as men we often try to fit everything into this one day and neglect showing our love and honor the other 364 days of the years. Truth is we should express our love and honor everyday.

I originally wrote the essay below a few years ago, but I thought it was appropriate to put it on the blog now.    

Before I get started, no my fingers didn't get stuck on the keyboard, it's pronounced ish·shaw with an emphasis on shaw, and I'll get to it in a minute.

I'm getting older, I hate to admit that. Also, I've noticed as I move into my mid-30's ok, 37 the first year of my late 30's but I hate to admit that also, that I'm noticing more of my friends and acquaintances marriages are falling or have fallen apart. It seems my 20's were a time of friends getting married, and my 30's are a time of friends getting un-married. It sucks, and as one who longs to get married and have a family it breaks my heart. However, this is not an essay to discuss divorce. This essay is really my third about marriage, and to a certain extent husbands. Neither topic is something I have experience with, but God has put this on my heart so I write.

¹⁸ The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” ^[1]

But for Adam^g no suitable helper was found. ²¹ So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs^h and closed up the place with flesh. ²² Then the Lord God made a woman from the ribⁱ he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

²³ The man said,

                        “This is now bone of my bones

                     and flesh of my flesh;

                        she shall be called ‘woman,^j’

                     for she was taken out of man.”

²⁴ For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.^[2]

Those two words, woman, and wife are both translated אִשָּׁה,,  ishshah and of the 780 occurrences in the bible it translates as “wife” 425 times, “woman” 324 times.  The origin of woman is explained in Gen 2:23, 24. She is depicted as the physical counterpart of man, deserving of his unswerving loyalty. It is in this context (vv. 24–25) that the word is first used in the sense of “mate” or “wife.”

The Bible holds woman in the highest regard and sets forth “graciousness” (Prov 11:16) and “worth” (Ruth 3:11) as womanly ideals.^[3]

Did you know, the first three times the phase “noble character” is used in scripture; it is used to describe women.  (Ruth 3:11, Proverbs 12:4, and 31:10) 

The word is frequently used in the sense of “wife.” The good wife is highly honored in the OT. He who finds one finds a source of blessing (Prov 18:22) and honor (Prov 12:4). A fruitful wife is a sign of blessing (Ps 128:3). Her honored position is evident in the fact that she is “from the Lord”^[4] (Prov 19:14)

“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.” – Proverbs 18:22

"A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones." - Proverbs 12:4

"Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord." - Proverbs 19:4

Ok, now I'm going to speak to husbands for awhile.  Your wife is bone of your bones, flesh of your flesh. She's your Ishshah. There can be no closer human relationship, no other earthly priority. Honor her with unswerving loyalty since she is a gift from God.  It's really simple. When you got married you entered into a covenant, Genesis 2:24 says you became one flesh. I don't know how God does that but the bible says he does, so I will take it on faith.  

However, marriage isn't easy, and in order to do all that is required as a husband we need to be grounded in the Lord.  If we are not grounded in the Lord, and are chasing other lovers, whether it be work, wealth, entertainment or hobbies, etc. our focus can get lost.  We need to be grounded so we can lead our wives and families. To give her and them what they need. 

As I write this it is difficult to get all I want to say out on paper. There is so much swirling around in my head on the subject. My prayer is those men who have the honor to be husbands and fathers really understand all that God has to say on this topic. God’s shown me a lot, but I can’t put it into practice. It’s imperative that husbands take the lead. It’s imperative that we men get ourselves on our knees before the Lord, regularly.

We can't do it alone. There's been a song that been in my head the entire time I've been writing this essay. It's stuck with me because it is relevant to the topic and I keep playing the MP3 on the computer. I've copied the lyrics below.

Sanctus Real - “Lead Me”

I look around and see my wonderful life
Almost perfect from the outside
In picture frames I see my beautiful wife
Always smiling
But on the inside, I can hear her saying...

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes
They're just children from the outside
I'm working hard, I tell myself they'll be fine
They're independent
But on the inside, I can hear them saying...

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, but what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't You lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up

I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

The last line says it all. 

---

^[1] The Holy Bible : New International Version. electronic ed. Grand Rapids : Zondervan, 1996, c1984, S. Ge 2:18

^g Or the man

^h Or took part of the man’s side

ⁱ Or part

^j The Hebrew for woman sounds like the Hebrew for man.

^[2] The Holy Bible : New International Version. electronic ed. Grand Rapids : Zondervan, 1996, c1984, S. Ge 2:20-24

^[3]Harris, R. Laird ; Harris, Robert Laird ; Archer, Gleason Leonard ; Waltke, Bruce K.: Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament. electronic ed. Chicago : Moody Press, 1999, c1980, S. 059

^[4]Harris, R. Laird ; Harris, Robert Laird ; Archer, Gleason Leonard ; Waltke, Bruce K.: Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament. electronic ed. Chicago : Moody Press, 1999, c1980, S. 060