Legacy

I volunteer a lot at my church, and I have done audio and visual for a fair number of weddings and funerals over the past few years. I much prefer weddings, but each are a celebration of life in their own way. I recently worked the funeral/celebration of life for Dan, who passed away from cancer. I didn’t know him  too well, but I was struck by the stories from my Pastor, and from Dan’s family and friends that Dan lived! He Left a legacy.

Also, today as part of his Father’s Day message my Pastor quoted from Proverbs 17:6. (NASB)

Grandchildren are the crown of the aged,

and the glory of children is their fathers. ^[1]

I like the NLT translation myself.

Grandchildren are the crowning glory of the aged;

parents are the pride of their children. ^[2]

Either way the verse also speaks to legacy.

Later this week my young, extremely tall friend Gabriel Franklin is marrying the most amazing Amelia Graves (his words).  They will be embarking on an amazing journey; in reality, they are already on it. Their united legacy starts Friday. His parents have raised an excellent legacy. (I am sure hers have too, I don’t know them)

As Willie Nelson sang “You were always on my mind” At this stage of my life, legacy is always on my mind.  I want to leave a good legacy. However, I am single and have no kids so the normal way to leave a legacy is not an option.  Also, contrary to popular opinion, I do not want my work to be my legacy. I do not intend to only be remembered for the hours I work.

I posted the Edgar Albert Guest poem Tomorrow, back in February, 2018 retrospectiveI keep this poem where I can read it and the end is the thing.

But the fact is he died and he faded from view,

And all that he left here when living was through

Was a mountain of things he intended to do

Tomorrow.

I don’t like this ending and I don’t want this ending.  I need to figure out what Legacy means to me. I also need to remember that the legacy that I leave may never be known to me in this life. We only seem to talk about a person’s legacy when they are dead.

Like usual I have had a bunch of movie quotes running through my head while I write.

Get Busy Living or get busy dying - Andy Dufresne, Shawshank Redemption also Ellis Boy "Red" Redding in a later scene. As an aside can I have Morgan Freeman read a voiceover for my life it would be epic. I could listen to Morgan freeman read recipes!

And while Cinderella and her prince did live happily ever after, the point, gentlemen, is that they lived. – Voiceover, EverAfter.

I don’t feel like I started well, I want to finish well. – Adam Mitchell Courageous

Now I need to get busy living and finish well. Finishing well starts with following the path Jesus Christ sets before me. He is the epitome of finishing well.

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.^[3]

---

^[1] The Holy Bible: English Standard Version. (2016). (Pr 17:6). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles.

^[2] Tyndale House Publishers. (2013). Holy Bible: New Living Translation (Pr 17:6). Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers.

^[3] The Holy Bible: New International Version. (1984). (Heb 12:2). Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.

2018 Retrospective

It’s fair to say 2018 was a trying year. I wanted to post this blog entry before 2018 faded too far into the rear-view mirror, however I took a vacation last month. I spent 8 days traveling to and from Cocoa Beach Fl. To attend and present at Prototype Rails. With stops in Roanoke Va., Spencer NC., Rock Hill SC., Daytona Beach and Cocoa Beach Fl, West Palm Beach Fl., Kings Bay Ga. and Beckley WV. it was the longest vacation I have taken in 20 years and it was desperately, desperately, desperately needed. Now it’s nearly the end of February.

I had several deadlines, I could have cancelled the vacation and worked. I didn’t, and part of the reason was the threat of bodily harm from friends and coworkers. 

Have I mentioned 2018 was a trying year? It was intense. On one hand I prefer to have work to do vs. the alternative. On the other hand, I’d like some balance. I took 3 vacation days the entire year. I get 3 weeks, thankfully I can carry it over. The overnighters at work and numerous 50-60-hour weeks lead to, well, let’s say emotionally unstable moments I’d like back. The overload took a toll on my physical, mental and emotional health. 

There were good times too, several weddings, good times with friends and family, birthday parties, Christmas pageant, and King Condrell’s ice cream. Unfortunately, the craziness won. 

Looking back, what can I learn? Spending most of the year working is not fun. Every time one deadline was met, several were missed or pushed back. I felt like I was living Ecclesiastes.

1 The words of the Teacher, son of David, king in Jerusalem: 
2 “Meaningless! Meaningless!” 
says the Teacher. 
“Utterly meaningless! 
Everything is meaningless.” 
3 What does man gain from all his labor 
at which he toils under the sun? 
4 Generations come and generations go, 
but the earth remains forever 
Ecclesiastes 1:1-4 NIV

Life, as is was, was meaningless. Thankfully, 2018 ended. I still have deadlines, but I have made a promise to myself that 2019 is not going to be like 2018. There is more to life than work.  So far this year, as a start, I am trying to limit working on weekends to give myself a break. We have also hired additional staff at work so I don't have to do it all. 

Edgar Albert Guest Wrote the poem Tomorrow, it’s been taped to my desk since I heard Alister Begg quote it in a sermon years ago. I need to pay it more attention and remember the word as 2019 unfolds. Tomorrow may not come. 

He was going to be all that a mortal should be
Tomorrow.
No one should be kinder or braver than he
Tomorrow.
A friend who was troubled and weary he knew,
Who'd be glad of a lift and who needed it, too;
On him he would call and see what he could do
Tomorrow.

Each morning he stacked up the letters he'd write
Tomorrow.
And thought of the folks he would fill with delight
Tomorrow.
It was too bad, indeed, he was busy today,
And hadn't a minute to stop on his way;
More time he would have to give others, he'd say
Tomorrow.

The greatest of workers this man would have been
Tomorrow.
The world would have known him, had he ever seen
Tomorrow.
But the fact is he died and he faded from view,
And all that he left here when living was through
Was a mountain of things he intended to do
Tomorrow.

The Hill I Will Die On

I was talking with the newest Mr. and Mrs. Mertzlufft a week after their wedding, just before another wedding. They told me I made them cry, well actually my card did, and it was a compliment. Our conversation centered around marriage. I’ve posted about relationships and marriage several times in the past on this blog. It is The Hill that I will die on. God’s plan for marriage.

What do I think? This post will attempt to lay that out. While looking back at previous posts on the subject, I realized I wrote my first essay on marriage 12 years ago, and it’s something that I have prayed about for 25 years now. Yikes! I’m middle age.

In my opinion the marriage covenant is the most important covenant two people can make with each other. The opportunity to marry your best friend and spend a lifetime growing old together is not an experience that everyone gets to experience.

I come home to a quiet, somewhat messy, house every night, and I am sure many of you with children, especially young children, would love that opportunity occasionally, except for the mess. But I’ll tell you the truth; I would rather come home to a noisy house, knowing I’d find my best friend there. To have a lifetime companion to share all my hopes, dreams, trials, and fears is worth more to me than all the riches of the world. To help, in my case, her to achieve her hopes and dreams would be an honor.

Now I realize marriage is no picnic, and being on the outside looking in, I may have a romantic ideal of marriage. But, I do know that marriage is a blessing from God, and He has a plan for yours.

“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.” – Proverbs 18:22

So please take time to nurture and grow your marriage, and keeping with my gardening theme, water your marriage with love.

“A friend loves at all times,” – Proverbs 17:17

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” – 1 Corinthians13:4-7.

Love is a verb, it’s alive, full of action.

Clint Black, a country singer, wrote a song that describes love that way and it really makes me think. Here’s the last line. Notice the emphasis on the word we.“There’s no request to big or small, we give ourselves, we give our all, love isn’t someplace that we fall, it’s something that we do”. – Title, Something That We Do, from the album Nothin' But The Taillights.

Guys remember she is your Ishshah. Your wife is bone of your bones, flesh of your flesh. There can be no closer human relationship, no other earthly priority. Honor her with unswerving loyalty since she is a gift from God. It's really simple. When you got married you entered into a covenant, Genesis 2:24 says you became one flesh. I don't know how God does that but the bible says he does, so I will take it on faith.

As a guy, we like to think of ourselves as “the man.” We all have different ideas on what being “the man” entails. In general, “the man” is the provider. We provide for the well-being of our family, food, clothing, and shelter. We derive a lot of self-worth from how effective we are at providing for our family. God has some pretty clear direction on how we are to treat our wives in Ephesians 5:25-31

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church- for we are members of his body. "For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."

The husbands in the marriages I have observed are living out these verses. They are devoted to their wives, their best friend, and helping her achieve her hopes and dreams. They realize the truth of Proverbs 18:22 “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.” One day I hope to as mature as these Godly men I know.

Marriage isn't easy, and in order to do all that is required as a husband we need to be grounded in the Lord. If we are not grounded in the Lord, and are chasing other lovers, whether it be work, wealth, entertainment or hobbies, etc. our focus can get lost. We need to be grounded so we can lead our wives and families. To give her and them what they need.

Keep it Simple

I posted this picture on Facebook the other day and to my chagrin a political discussion arose.




Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. -
1 Peter 4:8 (NIV)

Or as The Message paraphrase says it

Most of all, love each other as if your life depended on it. Love makes up for practically anything.
- 1 Peter 4:8

Love in our politically charged world can be tough. Love who? love them? Love those with different opinions? political views? different skin colors? Nationalities? etc. etc. Love with conditions. It shouldn’t be this hard.

Jesus Christ said “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” – John 15:12-13

Jesus also called it the Greatest Commandment

34 Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. 35 One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: 36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

37 Jesus replied: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” – Matthew 22:34-40

In these verses Jesus is using the Greek work agápē.

But now Back to Peter, when he wrote love each other deeply, he is also using the Greek work agápē.

From Moody:
There are four words in the Greek language for “love.” Stergein (Στεργειν) is a love that has its basis in one’s own nature. It speaks of the constitutional efflux of natural affection. Eran (Ἐραν) is a love that has its basis in passion, and its expression takes the form of a blind impulse produced by passion. Philaid (Φιλειν) is a love that has its basis in pleasurableness, and is the glow of the heart kindled the perception of that in the object loved which affords one pleasure. Agapan (Ἀγαπαν) is a love that has its basis in preciousness, a love called out of one’s heart by an awakened sense of value in the object loved that causes one to prize it.

Peter is not exhorting us to love on a superficial level, wondering what’s in it for us or base in feelings and emotions. He’s asking us to go all in.

The website https://totescute.com/four-types-of-love-greek-style/ has a nice definition of Agape love.(Note, when I Googled the website some links were NSFW or kids

"Agape is an unconditional love that sees beyond the outer surface and accepts the recipient for whom he/she is, regardless of their flaws, shortcomings or faults. It’s the type of love that everyone strives to have for their fellow human beings. Although you may not like someone, you decide to love them just as a human being. This kind of love is all about sacrifice as well as giving and expecting nothing in return. The translation of the word agape is love in the verb – form: it is the love demonstrated by your behavior towards another person. It is a committed and chosen love."

Agape love takes work and effort. I know I don’t get it right often. But I’m going to try to get it right.

How long 'til my soul gets it right?
Could any human being ever reach that kind of light? – Galileo, Indigo Girls

I won’t always agree with my family, friends, and colleagues, those I see in person and on social media, all the time. Heck, I won’t always like them. But I can strive to keep it simple and always love (agape)

2017 - Word of Intent

It’s January 2017, and like many others I made some resolutions as 2016 turned to 2017. They are probably the same ones I made last year, honestly I don’t recall what I resolved as 2016 began. That’s a problem I and I suspect many others have with resolutions, they get lost in the busyness of life. Before we know it it’s November and we think, what was it I resolved this year?

While on Facebook I came across the following post from my church

This post hit home. I  didn’t want my excuse in 2017 to be I was too busy.

Then while reading my friend Nina’s blog http://www.ninagraceblogs.com and she spoke about finding her word for the new year. Nina Said

“One of the “traditions” I’ve seen the past few years is to choose a “word of intention” for the coming year. This word should represent your main goal or focus, it helps you narrow things down to your top priority. I like that idea because it really causes me to reflect and decide what it is that I really want to accomplish in 2017. Rather than a whole list of hopeful maybes that may or may not happen, this word gives me something to pray over and believe in.”

Before I continue go read the rest of her blog, (http://www.ninagraceblogs.com/my-word-for-the-new-year/) I’ll wait, her writing is excellent and will draw you in. She’s been on a pretty amazing journey over the past year or two and it comes through in her writing. God is using her as she stepped out in faith with her blog.

Ok, if you came back to my blog, thanks, if not I understand, haha.

I’d never heard of a “Word of Intention” (yes, I may live under a rock sometimes) as I pondered this concept I thought it was a great idea. I emailed Nina to ask where she heard of it and she responded “social media”. I Googled it and found other writers explained the concept much as she did above.

I wanted to try this in my life for 2017. So I pondered and prayed about my priorities for 2017, and I kept coming back to three words. Patience, Purpose, and Prayer.

Patience. I’ve written about Patience before in 2011 and posted to the blog in 2014. That blog is here, and the points I make there are still valid today.

Also on my desk is a rock from the Palmer House with “Patience” written on the front. Whenever I sit down at my desk I look at this rock and its neighbor “Friend” rock. On the back of the Patience rock is Titus 2:2.

Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. Titus 2:2 ESV

I can be impatient. I need to cultivate patience. Patience is a fruit of the spirit, and love is patient. I’m sure there will be more to it, but 2017 is just beginning.

Purpose. We all need one. What will define my purpose in 2017?

In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. - Proverbs 16:9 (NIV)

The steps of a man are established by the Lord, And He delights in his way. - Psalm 37:23 (NASB95)
The purposes of a man’s heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out. – Proverbs 20:5 (NIV)

I’m getting older, I said older NOT old, I still have passions that drive me. I want the passions to drive my purpose and I want my purpose to glorify God. Lord help me to understand your purposes for me throughout 2017.

Prayer. Prayer needs to undergird EVERYTHING! 

“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. – Luke 11:9-10 (NIV)

17 pray without ceasing, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. – 1Thessalonians 5:17-18 (NIV)

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. – Philippians 4:6 (NIV)

Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. – Colossians 4:2 (NIV)

I don’t know what 2017 will bring, but these three words of intent, Patience, Purpose, and Prayer, will help me keep focused on the main things.